• Driving Backwards

    “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C.S. Lewis

    A year that we all have been waiting for, hoping that last year can be a memory sooner than later. 2021.  Hope for life to return to ‘normal’.  Hopes for changes to happen in a positive way for all of us on many levels.   As much as I want that to happen, the reality is that the turning of the calendar page did not change much.

    Only our level of hope.  Which in my opinion is HUGE.

    Visualize sitting in your car.   It can be in your driveway – no need for travel – but you are seated in the driver’s seat.  Take a look at your fields of vision.   You have the HUGE windshield in front of you that (hopefully) has limited blind spots, full range of view, and the ability to guide the vehicle exactly where you want it to go.  Easy peasy.

    Now take a look at the rearview mirror.  Small, limited view and often full of blind spots depending on how you are seated in your vehicle.   It sees what is behind you, but has zero impact on what is in front of you.

    How many of you have tried to drive backward for an extended period of time?   Without the backup camera, without the self-driving fancy new vehicles, or without assistance.  Old school reverse driving.   You could eat some popcorn and have a good laugh watching my attempt to back into my driveway!

    In life, many of us try to navigate our lives through a proverbial rearview mirror.  Our past dictates the choices we make in the future.   Our past determines our level of hope for our future.   Our past is a great foundation, has great teachable moments, and becomes the foundation for our future.   But it is in our past for a reason.  Living life through your past is like driving your car through the rearview mirror only.

    What are you holding on from your past that could potentially be impacting your future?  Perhaps it is something from your childhood that continues to create your core belief about yourself.  Perhaps it is a divorce or a bankruptcy or a failed business.   Perhaps it is holding on to life as we knew it in February 2020.

    Whatever the barrier is, there is a truth and there is a fear.    If there was not a truth in the barrier, your brain would not accept it on any level.  However, my guess is that the fear is greater than the truth.

    F.E.A.R.:  False Evidence Appearing Real.

    Take a look behind your barrier.   Write a list of what you KNOW is truth to your barrier and what you THINK is fear.    Then you have a choice.  You can choose to follow the fear or live in the truth.

    Easy?  Heck no.   As much work as it takes to build your actual muscles, it will take work to build your emotional muscles.   After some practice, you will not have to think so hard about it and your new automatic response will be healthier.  You can do this!   I am here to help in any way that I can.

    2021 will be different than 2020, but in what ways?  No clue.   

    New Year’s Day this year I set my oven on fire.  Again.  Nothing dramatic, no fire department needed – this time.  This was oven fire number seven.  We are skilled with techniques to put out the fire and are proud owners of many fire extinguishers.   I can focus on the start of 2021 being like so many other years with a negative kick-off.  Or I can embrace my need for cooking lessons and move forward.

    Rearview mirror vs. a clear front windshield.   My choice is to focus on what lies ahead for me to create this year.  The adventure ahead and not the detours or speed bumps that will inevitably be there along the way.  2021 will have exciting changes for me with a new podcast, new services, and more states!  The only way to embrace the changes is to learn from my past, but focus on the adventure.

    What will be your choice?

    If you need help working through your barriers so you can focus on the windshield instead of the rearview mirror  – let’s chat!   I provide online therapy in Ohio, Tennessee, Florida, California, and Pennsylvania. I’m proud to offer online therapy for helping professionals, online therapy for busy professionals, and Therapy for Therapists™. I specialize in treating imposter syndrome, burnout, and anxiety using The Daring Way™ and offer online workshops to clients who want to overcome shame. Contact me today and let’s be rockstars together!

    If you want to know more about me you can read about me as a therapist. Or, if you’re curious about my therapy practice then check out my FAQs, or read my mental health blog.

    As always, take care of you and know that you are not alone –


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