Enneagram Series: Type Two
The enneagram is a system that shows us the nine ways that the people in the world default to in life. It explains the “why” of all that we do, think, and feel. There are nine types based on our core motivations and fear so that we can grow as an individual in order to thrive in our life.
The enneagram answers the questions: WHO are you? WHY are you? and HOW and WHAT do you want to change? Each week we will examine one of the types so if you missed any of the weeks, you can get caught up by clicking the link in my bio to read the whole blog series.
The Pros and Cons of Being Enneagram Type Two
Enneagram type twos are typically known for their caring and selfless personalities. Type twos have great intuition for the needs of others, tend to be positive and caring people and put a lot of effort into their relationships. Twos place great value in their relationships, which can, at times, lead to them becoming overbearing or jealous. Twos feel their happiest when they feel valued and worthy. A type two’s greatest trait comes from the love they have for the people in their life. While this love can be an amazing thing, it can also lead them to forget their own wants and needs.
Type twos truly value the people in their life. They will always go the extra mile to make their friends and family feel happy and loved. Twos will drop what they are doing to help a friend in need, no matter the cost. This trait can be a double-edged sword as the way a type two cares for their friends and family make them great friends to have but can also cause them to forget to take care of their own needs.
Twos pride themselves on having excellent intuition skills for the needs of the people in their life. They take great care to be empathetic to the people around them, working to be the friend that person needs. If a friend needs somebody to talk to, the two will be there. If a friend needs to feel special, the two will work to make them feel special. No matter what their friends need, twos will try their hardest to be empathetic for them, helping them get through whatever hard times they are experiencing.
Twos are incredibly generous people. They get their greatest fulfillment in life knowing that they can help the people around them. If a friend needs help, the two will be there. If a family member needs something, the two will make sure they have it. Regardless of what somebody needs, a two will likely be willing to sacrifice their time or money to ensure their loved one has it.
Twos tend to look at the world optimistically. Their bright, positive personalities can attract people to them left and right. When twos are at their healthiest, they can be a true ray of sunshine for the people in their life.
Twos are social, friendly people. They work to have high-quality relationships that they value above everything else. Twos are great at making friends and have a knack for making others feel seen and important.
People Pleasing Tendencies
Twos will likely do almost anything to make the people around them happy. This tendency to try to keep their friends and family happy can lead to them neglecting their own desires. The more that a type two puts other people in front of themselves, the more they tend to feel stressed and resentful toward the people around them.
Struggle to Take Criticism Well
Because twos work so hard to make the people around them happy, they do not take criticism of their efforts well. Twos dread feeling unimportant or unworthy of the people around them’s love. Because of this constant worry, any criticism from others can feel like a confirmation of this fear.
Twos like to feel as though they are extremely important in their friend’s and family’s lives. This need to feel so important can lead to overbearingness and jealousy when they feel they are coming second.
Tips for Growth as a Type Two
Tend to Your Needs
As a two, it is crucial to remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. The more you put off your own needs, dreams, and desires for other people, the more stressed you will begin to feel. Your selflessness can be a great trait at times, but it can also come at the detriment of your own health and wellbeing. The more you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of your loved ones.
Your desire to be helpful to your friends and family is truly admirable. However, constantly meddling in other people’s lives and making sure to constantly be available can lead to drama and resentment from both your loved ones and yourself. Work on setting boundaries with your loved ones for your mental health and the health of your relationships.
Spend Time with Yourself
Your desire to always be there for other people can drain you of your loving energy. Spending time alone can ensure that you are allowing yourself the chance to take care of all of your own needs, which we have already established is a crucial step to taking care of the people around you to the best of your ability. Take this time to build your own self-worth and confidence outside of the relationships you have put so much effort into building.
Let Others Help You
As a two, your desire to help others is truly admirable. However, you must accept that you are only human and cannot always do it all. Learn when to ask for and accept the help of others. This will not take away from your ability to be a generous and helpful person. As a matter of fact, allowing others to help you with the less important things can allow you to pour more of yourself into the more important, most significant things in your life.
At their best, twos can make amazing friends. They are generous, kind, and always there for the people they love. However, when they forget to take care of themselves, they can begin to build resentment and become overbearing in their loved ones’ lives. As a two, making sure you are taking care of your own needs before tending to the needs of others can help you be the best version of yourself. This will help you reach your ultimate desire of being there for your loved ones to the greatest of your ability.
Want to learn more? Working with me as a coach or as a therapist starts with finding out your Enneagram type and more information than you could ever want! You can learn more about coaching services on my sister site: Russiano Consulting Services.
Whether as a coach, or a therapist, my goal is to partner with you to determine the best version of you. Schedule a Complimentary Consultation Call today – on either site – we can figure out your journey path to get to where you want to be.
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Until then, take care of you and know that we are in this together –