• Lunch Outside My Comfort Zone

    “Anyone you have in your mind as an icon is an imperfect, flawed creature, just like all humans on the planet.” – Tim Ferriss


    Someone asked me last week if I could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?   I have never been a huge fan of that question because it always places so much pressure on having the “right” answer for the “right” reasons.  One person?   Just one?   There are many people in the world that I would love to have a conversation with over lunch.   I am on a foodie kick, so lunch with Gordon Ramsey would be interesting.   Is he really like his television persona?  Or is that just for ratings?  Michael Phelps fascinates me from his ability to glide through the water to his willingness to be vulnerable about his mental health challenges.  And then there is Alex Honnold who inspires me and terrifies me at the same time.

    But at the end of the day, my response was Brené Brown.   Anyone in my inner circle would not be shocked at that answer because since I discovered her work a few years ago, I have talked about her consistently.  Her as a person, her as a researcher, and the message that so many have been able to hear as a result of her international platform.   Her message is the reason that I chose to apply to be a Certified Daring Way Facilitator and completed the training in Houston, Texas – in hopes she would make a cameo appearance.  This did not happen, but it was still an amazing experience with her incredible team!

    Once I provided my response, my next statement was, “but that is silly – why would she want to have lunch with me?”.

    Ouch, painful to admit, but completely truthful.    She is an icon, a celebrity, and in most circles, a household name.   She has interviewed some of the most iconic individuals of our time and has redefined how many of us view shame and authenticity.  

    So why would she want to have lunch with me, a clinical social worker from Erie, Pennsylvania who is certified in her material?   There are hundreds of us that are certified and there are thousands of clinical social workers that follow her work.  

    But as my friend pushed back, why WOULDN’T she want to meet you?     Tim Ferriss talks about the notion that the adage of “‘it’s not what you know as much as who you know’ being an excuse for inaction.”  He pushes back to say that not all “powerful people are born with powerful friends” in his book The Four Hour Work Week.   He goes on to provide examples of how to connect with influential people (for practical reasons, not to be in their fan club).   It has been presented to me as a challenge to reach out and have a conversation with Brené Brown.   I have talked about my stubborn side and tendency to accept the challenges offered, but this one I am on the fence about.   I am passionate about her work, I utilize it every day with my clients (and friends of course….) and often tell people I speak ‘fluent Brené’.  I would love to have the opportunity to speak with her about so many topics, but I am sure there is a long list of individuals that would as well!

    The core issue circles back to the quote that launched this blog:  “Anyone you have in your mind as an icon is an imperfect, flawed creature, just like all humans on the planet.” Tim Ferriss.  I know that.  Brené Brown embodies that message and I talk about being perfectly imperfect probably on a daily basis.   But then that humanness kicks in, the vulnerability kicks in, and the tendency to retreat to be small kicks in.  We all have that fear of rejection, fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone, the fear of taking a risk, and sometimes even the fear of dreaming big.   My fear is of reaching out to someone that I respect, admire, and hold a very high opinion of – even though I realize she is human like the rest of us.

    What is your fear?  What is holding you back?   Maybe it is making a job change, even a career change, or perhaps (as I am…) hitting a milestone birthday and wanting to make the next decade have more of an impact than the last.    Fear will keep you stuck, small, and always wanting more.   But if you fear LESS, you can conquer your dreams one small step at a time.   Knowing your worth will be the catalyst to be able to make those dreams a reality and step into the arena of vulnerability with strength.

    Perhaps you will even reach out to someone you admire to schedule a conversation or lunch.  I will keep you posted on what I decide to do!   And more importantly, what the outcome is:  good or bad.

    Who and what you are is not directly linked to what you FEEL your expectations of self are.   You have worth and value just how you are right now.  Today.   Without the e-course and with an extra 25 lbs.   You are worthy of love, belonging and acceptance just by being you.   With that comes the gift of your presence at lunch with that one person who is outside of your comfort zone – business or personal.   Maybe you are the person that someone is wanting to have lunch with!   Always remember that as much as we have our mentors or those we admire, so we are mentors and admired by others as well.

    If you need help working embracing your worth & value right as you are today – let’s chat!   I provide online therapy in Ohio, Tennessee, Florida, California, and Pennsylvania. I’m proud to offer online therapy for helping professionals, online therapy for busy professionals, and Therapy for Therapists™. I specialize in treating imposter syndrome, burnout, and anxiety using The Daring Way™ and offer online workshops to clients who want to overcome shame. Contact me today and let’s be rockstars together!

    If you want to know more about me you can read about me as a therapist. Or, if you’re curious about my therapy practice then check out my FAQs, or read my mental health blog.


    As always, take care of you and know that you are not alone –


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