The Daring Way: Rising Strong Review
“I believe that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it is the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves. For that reason, regret can be the birthplace of empathy.” Brené Brown
Some things are certain in life just like death and taxes. Failure is one of those things. I know that it sounds foreign and scary to hear that you will fail someday. Heck, I feel like I fail most days! However, the way you respond to failure determines how well you will pick yourself up and get your life back in order. Also, it depends on what your definition of failure is. Do you have realistic expectations of yourself? Are you sure? Perhaps your expectation of success or failure needs to be re-evaluated. We will talk about that more next when we discuss the Gifts on Imperfections.
But today – it is all about Rising Strong. In her book Rising Strong, Brené Brown describes a process that you can use to rise back from failure.
Rising Strong = Reckoning, Rumbling, & Revolution
The Rising Strong process includes three steps: Reckoning, Rumbling, and Revolution. Sounds simple? Perhaps in principle, yes. But in embracing the action steps that come with the process can be daunting. Let’s break it down a little bit and see how we can apply it to you living a life in which you can thrive!
In definition, to reckon in a behavioral standpoint is to assess or “sum up” where we are at with our emotions. Reckoning involves walking into our story by paying attention to our emotions and getting curious about them, rather than numbing or ignoring the discomfort. How often do we want to feel crummy? I can speak for myself in saying that if I could be a happy camper every day, I would. Ok, maybe not every day but you get my point! It is human nature to cover our emotions with food, with alcohol, with some fabulous retail therapy and with most of my clients – they use work to be so busy that emotions do not have the space to show up. If they do not show up, they do not exist. Right? I wish that was true! The emotions that we avoid as our human nature tend to show up when we least want them to. Emotions can be avoided for only so long no matter how skilled you may be in masking them. Being curious about our emotions, being aware of our emotions and be willing to do something with our emotions is the only way to effectively deal with our true authentic story.
The second stage is Rumbling. Rumbling involves owning our story by getting clear about the stories we’ve made up about the situation, other people, and ourselves and being willing to wholeheartedly check these stories and see if we can come to more accurate versions of what happened. Remember the statement, ‘hindsight is 20/20’? Our memory tends to follow the same philosophy. We either remember events and periods of our life with elevated emotions placing events/people on pedestals that they have not earned, or through a negative lens that darkens the event/person through an unfair light. Being willing to check the details of the memory can be a vulnerable process. At times we hold on to skewed memories to support our behaviors, our anger and even our decisions. Becoming honest with yourself can be freeing but can also change the lens that we have defined our identity through sometimes for decades.
The final stage in Rising Strong is the Revolution. The Revolution involves writing a new more courageous ending to the story by learning from our failures and getting back out there to apply that learning. The beauty of our story is that every day we get a fresh page. We can end a chapter and start a new one. We can add an addendum to a previous chapter to clarify. We can dream about our ideal chapter and create the steps we need to in order to achieve our dreams. Does that mean life can be a fairy tale as long as we “dream” it? Probably not – I am realistic therapist. But one thing I can guarantee you is that if you do not take an honest look at your life the pattern you have created will continue.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
What are you willing to change? More importantly, are you ready to start dreaming and change your story? If so, click HERE and let’s chat! Together we can walk through the process for you to walk through whatever you need to in order to thrive in your authentic wholehearted amazing (but not perfect!) life.
The process can be uncomfortable, it may be painful, and it definitely will challenge you. But at the end of this journey, my hope is that you realize that the emotional mask is not worth the energy any longer.
Being known for who you uniquely are at the core is a freeing experience.
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Always remember to take care of you. You are worth it!