Enneagram Series: Type Nine
The enneagram is a system that shows us the nine ways that the people in the world default to in life. It explains the “why” of all that we do, think, and feel. There are nine types based on our core motivations and fear so that we can grow as an individual in order to thrive in our life.The enneagram answers the questions: WHO are you? WHY are you? and HOW and WHAT do you want to change? Each week we will examine one of the types so if you missed any of the weeks, you can get caught up by clicking the link in my bio to read the whole blog series.
The Pros and Cons of Being Enneagram Type Nine
Type nines are known for being the peacemakers of the enneagrams. They are easygoing, nonjudgmental, and agreeable people. Their creativity and optimism are truly admirable and they tend to be incredibly kind and supportive friends. Nines love to feel at peace, meaning that they hate conflict and try to avoid it at all costs.At their best, nines can be wonderful at bringing people together. They are known as peacemakers because their presence can be truly healing. Nines fear conflict and losing the people they love. Their greatest desire is to live peacefully. Because of this, nines do what they can to prevent and avoid conflict.
The Pros
Accepting
Nines are not the type to pass judgment onto others. They understand that everybody makes mistakes. A nine will be there for their friend as they vent about their mistakes and failures without judgment. Nines can form deep connections with people from all different walks of life due to their accepting nature.
Calming
Nines have a calming, peaceful presence. They can be content and happy within even the simplest of moments. Nines tend to be spiritual and deeply connected to both themselves and others. They live their lives with ease and serenity.
Steady
Nines do what they can to avoid chaos and conflict within their life. Because of this, nines tend to be incredibly stable and strong. Their strength aids them in navigating life’s chaos to create a peaceful realm.
Optimistic
Nines have a talent for finding the positive in most situations. This is one of their strengths that greatly contributes to their peacemaking skills. Nines have a true talent for finding the beauty in living simply. They do not need more as they are able to feel grateful for the things they have in their life.
Caring
Nines are known for being peacemakers because they pursue peace for both themselves and the people around them. When the people around them feel at peace within their lives, nines feel their most content. Because of this, nines will do what they can to help others find their peace.
The Cons
Ambivalent
Because the nine fears conflict so greatly, they tend to have weak stances on their beliefs and morals. A nine does not tend to take the time to truly understand their own feelings about certain subjects. They simply work to shut any conflict down to restore peace.
Forgets Own Agenda
Nines tend to struggle to develop their own identity and agenda. As they pursue peace and harmony in the world around them, they forget what it is that they truly believe in. The nine’s fear of conflict and confrontation causes them to fear standing up for their individual views. Many nines would rather conform to others’ views than have to face conflict for their own.
Conflict Avoidant
As nines fear losing the people they love, they avoid conflict at all costs. The nine’s avoidance of conflict may lead to them ignoring immoral or hurtful acts by others. Rather than facing the issue head-on, nines tend to work to numb their feelings about the situation. They may force themselves to put on a peaceful, content act or simply live in denial as they avoid the issue with all of their might.
People Pleasers
The nine’s tendency to avoid conflict can lead to people-pleasing behaviors. Nines may struggle to set boundaries or stand up for themselves when others are treating them poorly simply because they wish to avoid confrontation. This can begin to take its toll as the people in the nine’s life continue to take advantage of them.
Tips for Growth as a Type Nine
At their healthiest, nines can be true peacemakers who are content with the life they have built. However, when a nine is unhealthy, they tend to struggle- internally and externally. A few ways nines can contribute to their wellbeing include:
Consider Your Beliefs
Take some time to sit down in your own thoughts and write out some things you believe to be right and wrong. Now consider the things that bring you joy and the things that bring you pain. Your need to avoid conflict at all costs can prevent you from truly getting to know yourself. Taking a few moments to explore your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, and desires can help you slowly build an identity that you are proud of.
Build Your Self-Love
As a nine, you may face many fears of losing the people around you. This fear is likely behind your avoidance of conflict. While conflict can be stressful, it is also necessary sometimes. For instance, conflict may be necessary in order to develop healthy boundaries with others or to stand up for yourself. Spending some time loving and cherishing yourself through ats of self-care and solitude may help the fear begin to fade. The more you love yourself, the less dependent you will be on others for your happiness.
Reconsider Your Stance
When you are working so hard to keep the peace and avoid conflict at all costs, your relationships can actually begin to suffer. Yes, those relationships you have worked so hard to keep peaceful and intact will begin to suffer. The next time you are hesitating standing up for yourself or your beliefs, consider why you are doing it. Living a life in which you never stand by your beliefs can end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. Put yourself and your beliefs out there for others to see. Remember that what you have to say is important.
Allow Yourself to Experience Your Emotions
Your tendency to want to live in nothing but peace and contentment can cause you to swallow all of your negative emotions, causing them to build up over time. While forcing a smile on your face when you feel stressed may help you avoid the conflict a little longer, it will end up causing an even larger problem in the long run. Allow yourself to feel your stress and sadness. Releasing it is the only way to truly feel better.
Become Mindful of Yourself
As a nine, you tend to push off your feelings and emotions. You also have a tendency to daydream, preventing you from living in the moment. Work to become more aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing in the moment. Allow yourself to feel it all as fully as possible. Doing so will help you establish your identity and help you live more presently.As a nine, you can be the ultimate peacemaker. You just have to make sure that in your quest for peace, you are allowing yourself to be true to yourself, as well. Consider the things that will bring your life fulfillment and place that over your desire for peace and comfort.Want to learn more? Working with me as a coach or as a therapist starts with finding out your Enneagram type and more information than you could ever want! You can learn more about coaching services on my sister site:
Strange name? Yep. Since I love all things Fiji, Tabu Soro means Never Give Up in Fijian. Perfect name for those I partner with in coaching services! Check it out…
Whether as a coach, or a therapist, my goal is to partner with you to determine the best version of you. Schedule a Complimentary Consultation Call today – on either site – we can figure out your journey path to get to where you want to be.
I provide online therapy in Ohio, Tennessee, Florida, California, Texas, and Pennsylvania. In addition, I am able to offer coaching servicesin all states, as well as internationally. I specialize in treating imposter syndrome, burnout, and anxiety using The Daring Way™ and offer online workshops to clients who want to overcome shame. Contact me today – for either avenue (virtual coaching or online therapy) and let’s be rockstars together!If you want to know more about me you can read about me as a therapist. Or, if you’re curious about my therapy practice then check out my FAQs, or read my mental health blog. To learn more about coaching services check out more info at TABU SORO Coaching.Until then, take care of you and know that we are in this together –
