• Melissa’s Story

    Melissa’s Story

    “Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”
    – Dr. Brené Brown


    Anyone else overloaded because your work is just decent?
    I hear you, you are exhausted, stressed and totally overwhelmed.

    EXHAUSTED because you feel you cannot measure up, be enough or struggle with feeling like a complete fraud.

    Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

    You are SO tired plummeting into crises and having to work so hard just to end up where you began.

    All you want to do is cry but any expression of emotion is unacceptable and makes you feel weak. And the LAST thing you ever want to feel is weak. Your strength is what keeps you moving.

    At times you feel that you have problems with your empathy. You just don’t care a lot about other people’s problems (you have enough of your own right now…) but you know that you have to feel love and compassion to find internal peace to be able to do your job. AND do it well – because you are a rockstar at what you do.

    Self-sabotage IS your middle name.

    You need frugal self-care and be in a healthier mindset. You genuinely enjoy what you do, but you are finding outside of work that you are constantly angry, impatient and overwhelmed.

    You are overwhelmed with stress and just want a vacation from your life.

    The following stays on repeat, “I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not worthy.”

    Even if I am able to achieve all of my goals, as a perfectionist,
    I will still berate myself for not being able to do more.
    I am my own worst enemy.

    Many high achievers share a dirty little secret:   Deep down we feel like complete frauds – our accomplishments are the result of serendipitous luck. It is just who we are.

    My experience of impostor syndrome is to experience a harmful combination of fear, shame and guilt. Every day.

    There is HOPE…

    You are craving balance.  You are chasing hope. You are seeking someone to tell you that there is a different way and that there can be a step by step plan to get you there.

    You fiercely need to know that someone understands you.  You need to know that someone will not tell you to “take a year off” or “find a new job” or that you are “beyond help”.

    (I have not met anyone beyond help yet!)

    You dream for a space to not feel judged, to be completely transparent and vulnerable so that you can get real with probably the first person ever in your life.
    You boldly need to figure how/why you choose to act the way you do, operate in their profession and avoid silence most days so that you do not fear slowing down.

    You fiercely need to define self, define living and most importantly re-define failure.

    You yearn to understand how to live without the pressure of needing to perform.

    You crave to know what makes you tick so that you can figure out what will make you THRIVE.

    There is CHOICE…

    You are not alone.  What you feel is normal, makes you human and allows you to join us “common folk” in being able to live life despite your flaws, despite your perceived failures, and no matter how high powered or people focused your job may be.  You cannot comprehend a world without shame, without perceived failure, without disappointment and without stress. Being able to share a different lens or paradigm shift with you to a world without any of your current views is empowering, life changing and most importantly true-life sustaining.  That is what I am passionate about partnering with you to create!

    Hope comes from living and authentic life – no matter what the world thinks. 

    There is ME….

    I totally get it… I’ve been there.

    My dream when I was young was to be a pediatric orthopedic surgeon.   Why? By the time I was eighteen, I had five knee surgeries and spent many hours bonding in an ortho office (ok… the waiting room, but still).    I head off to college as an exercise physiology major with a pre-med focus.
    In Southern California.   Where the sun shines 363 days a year with a beach driving distance from campus.  And did I mention the land where a pretty cool mouse lives? With a discount for California residents – crazy!   So basically, not a fan of the lab but wanted to be in the medical field so switched to medical social work. My plan was to work in an emergency room with families of trauma patients and save the world.

    Then reality set in as it does for all of us.  That is when my quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up was born.  I had the degrees.  I had the skills. I just did not have the life I imagined when I was little.

    Now I needed to dream again.   Which I did for many years with many tears, many times of “winning last” as a close friend would say – all of which lead me to who and what I am today.

    Now what?   So, you GET me, but how can you HELP me?

    Resiliency will be developed through a solid self-care action plan, self-reflection exercises, and an inventory for high achieving professionals to determine a baseline and track objective goals.   Together we will develop extraordinary capacity for your empathic attunement, astute clinical acumen and generosity of spirit with effective emotional boundaries coupled with unparalleled empathy. Finally, for helping professionals we will identify countertransference pitfalls and vicarious traumatic stress.

    Achieve professional equilibrium, success, and personal fulfillment –
    no matter how you feel now.

    It can be done.  You can THRIVE instead of SURVIVE.   You are not broken; we just need to tweak some of the rough edges together.

    FEAR by Suze Orman

    Fear is usually what stands between us and our COURAGE.

    We are afraid to rock the boat
    We are afraid of confrontation
    We are afraid to upset someone
    We are afraid we will lose our job
    We are afraid he will divorce us
    We are afraid of what others may think of us

    Living with fear is exhausting.  When you are afraid to speak or act, courage helps you overcome your fear.  Courage gives you the ability to speak YOUR truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear.  Courage is what helps you find YOUR voice.

    What are you afraid of?  What COURAGE is being held back from fear?

    Let’s dream together and move past what is holding you back so that you can
    THRIVE in your life.

    But WHY choose me….

    Because I drink water from wine glasses since it makes being healthy way more fun.   For the life of me I cannot eat with chopsticks even though my nephew mocks me for it every time he sees me.   Because I laugh at all of my quirks, am far from perfect and am willing to partner with you to be able to achieve any goal you establish for yourself.

    Now for the technical fine print so you can learn more about WHY me…

    I was raised in Eastern Pennsylvania and completed my undergraduate degree at Azusa Pacific University in Southern California.    Snow versus the beach was a no brainer! My graduate work was completed at Florida State University and I am a proud Seminole football fan.   I am a certified Daring Way™ Facilitator based on the work of Dr. Brené Brown which I am excited to integrate into all of my work with clients, as well as weekend workshops.

    My career has varied from working in homes with families, to Executive Director of a large for-profit agency, to now being in virtual (or online) private practice on an international scale.  I am licensed in the state of Pennsylvania (CW014975) as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, the State of Ohio (I.1440174) as an Independent Social Worker, the State of California (99971) as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, the State of Texas (105416) as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the State of Tennessee (LCSW6255) as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.  In addition, I am licensed in the State of Florida for virtual therapy through Florida Statutes section 456.47(4).

    Please note that virtual or online therapy sessions are fee for service and not covered by insurance.   Please check out VIRTUAL THERAPY to learn more about what services are offered and my FEE page to determine your investment in you.